A Shattered Thought
by Excess
Summary: A Small series of SiriusRemus storie. Kind of sad. Not for kids, slash.


A Shattered Thought.

Chapter one, Rough Night 1979.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used in this story. I make no profit from the use of them.

Song Disclaimer: The clearly marked song at the beginning of each chapter is not mine. It's quotes from the song Far Away from Nickelback added to set the tone for the story. I make no profit from the use of them.

Warning: This story will contain slash, meaning relationships of a homosexual nature.

Author: Andrince

Date: 01/11/06

"This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait?

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,

you know, you know"

It hurt. Everything hurt, my head, my legs, my back, everything. The warm January sun poured into my small apartment through the drape less open window onto the familiar back of the man occupying half of my bed. The light was so bright not even burying my head into the rough cloth of my pillow would allow me much escape.

The room was so hot I could feel beads of sweat make their way down my forehead to sting my barley open eyes. I searched my room for a clock briefly, but my bedside table seemed to be missing. Why was it so bright? How did he get here? Wasn't it supposed to be winter? And what the hell happened to my table and drapes?

The shaky memories of last night came back to me in a scattered rush. At first glance I didn't have an answer for any of my questions.

I met James at that crappy pub in that bad part of London. Circle room something or other. How could he like that place anyway? Full of old drunks and desperate women. The smell of cheap tobacco was still with me. We were playing that stupid game James always insists on playing when he's drunk. Take a shot and hit your best mate in the arm as hard as you can. That would explain the throbbing pain in my left arm. He was yelling at that old man.. the bar keep maybe? We left after breaking glasses and some yelling. We got a bottle at one of those little all night muggle stores. James had a bunch of muggle money he'd nicked off Lily. That's why we went to a park instead of James's; Lily and him were fighting again. It was real dark there, James fell, and I threw a bottle at a fountain rock thing. Some girl I kissed slapped me pretty hard.. She was a muggle from the park maybe? I don't remember her walking with us from the bar. I rode in a big muggle Auto mobile home. It smelled like pine trees. That didn't explain how Remus got into my bed. I toyed with the idea briefly of Remus crawling in after I went to sleep, but that didn't make sense. Remus was too shy for that.

The heat of the sun was nothing compared to the sleeping sack of warmth next to me. And the blankets were so itchy on my bare skin.

"For fuck's sake," I managed to whisper out at the sudden realization at my complete nakedness. It took a few minutes for the room to stop jerking in time with the throbbing of my head. After a few failed attempts I peeked my head up far enough to get a good look at Remus. I couldn't tell if he was naked also, the covers were pulled up to about his lower back, but he was defiantly showing some of the usual signs of being shagged by me in a drunken stupor. My small hope that I hadn't done anything with Remus was quickly fading as I scanned over the long scratches down his back, the finger nail shaped cuts and bruises on his shoulder, and the deep red marks on the back of his neck. I'd know if he hadn't covered up, I must have been really drunk last night my own clothes as well as his were nowhere in sight. But I needed to know, this was important.

I move my shaky leg up, carefully avoiding Remus's privet area. His head was about level with my waist so the aim was awkward. I put my foot at his side, but thought better of it when I felt ribs under rough sweaty heated flesh. I moved it up to his shoulder and pulling my foot back slightly gave him a fairly hard kick.

I hoped quickly when I heard the loud 'thump' I hadn't made him hit head first by putting all the pressure on his upper body. Besides it's only a foot or two from my bed to the carpet. It's not like I could have lifted the covers the cheek, people always walk in on that sort of thing. I could only imagine James after getting word I was peeping on Moony. I had no choice.

"Dammit, Sirius I know you're awake! I heard you whispering," He said between a groan. "What in the hell'd you do that for?"

Fuck, I was hoping he wouldn't wake up. He could have at least le me know he was up while I was aiming. I felt his shadow blocking the sun and knew I better check before he found his clothes. I can't stand talking about these things after they've happened.

Yep. Completely naked, woody hanging in full view and a tired pissed expression on his face, why do I drink?

"Sorry Moony," I whine out a thick reply. I feel him sit down heavily on the edge on my bed.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence I get up, and fully aware of my complete nakedness but not finding enough strength to care stumble to the bathroom.

I take carefully shaky steps to the bathroom. My feet land heavily on the cheap carpet and slap against the chipped tile floor of my small bathroom.

I flinch a little when my skin lands on the only cold object in my apartment, the toilet seat. Sitting down to piss, now that's real dignified. Yes well neither is doing the nasty with Remus. I can't believe I did that with Moony again. A part of me wanted to know if James had seen us again. Then again a part was just hoping everyone was drunk enough to forget it.

I was smiling, half laughing until I put my hand to my face and smashed my nose in pure embarrassment. I held my hand there for a few minutes in my stupid habit and waited for the surge of embarrassment to subside.

James thought me messing around with Remus was quote "Sweet." Peter felt the urge to mention it in front of large crowds. I was pretty sure Remus was 'playing for the other team' he had always seemed that way.

I was never sure how far we really went, and I was always too embarrassed to ask, though I did remember parts of some nights and James usually gave me a fair few giggled hints of how I couldn't stay off Moony.

I stood up off the toilet and the room gave an odd tilt to the right. It took a second before I turned around, and bracing myself on the back of the toilet emptied my stomach contents. Some of the sick ended up on the floor I noticed as I rinsed my mouth out once again.

With the sour taste of stomach acid still heavy in the back of my throat I dragged my self back in to my bedroom.

Remus was at my dresser buttoning into one of my shirts.

"Where are your clothes?" I asked not sure if I wanted to know.

"You tell me, you're the one that hid them." I didn't know how to reply to that but he didn't seem to mind.

"I'm borrowing these for work. I'm late already, 'k?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Yeah."

He turned around with my jeans, at least two sizes too big on. He had put a black dress shirt on to match. His eyes were red and a bit puffy, his young cheeks tear stained.

"Look Remy sorry about everything last night and all," came my mumbled lame apology.

"It's fine, it doesn't matter," he says choking on a sob.

The worst part about these things is it's guaranteed to make me feel like shit and upset Remus.

Authors Note: This fic was inspired by my own drunken New Years adventure, here's to saying stupid crap you wont remember in the morning. Please read and review. Just to let you know the next part will be set in a different time.


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